we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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