What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
