I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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