She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
