Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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