my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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