I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
