I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
