I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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