Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
