She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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