We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
