i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
