Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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