super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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