At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Found your dick twin last night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
