Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
