I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
