Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
