Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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