god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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