Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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