lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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