Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
