Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
