this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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