We won't sleep together?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize