I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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