wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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