bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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