the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
