As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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