you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
