I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
