So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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