Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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