Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
