Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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