One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
