Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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