You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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