I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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