Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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