is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
