Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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