now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
