WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
