You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Randomize
