Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
