I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
